The Greeks founded Western civilization and gave us the basis of western literature, among other things. If you are planning to go, read a little history, a little Homer and get an idea of life in ancient Greece because when you’re there it comes to life all around you. From the Roman invasion in the 2nd century BC until the early 19th century, Greece was under foreign rule. The Greeks, however, have held onto their culture with an iron fist. They are a proud, kind and welcoming people who are always pleased to see that you have seen the light and chose to visit their country.

Next, the food. Greek cuisine is widely regarded as the healthiest cuisine on the planet. Despite their chain-smoking, the Greeks manage to live forever. It’s fresh salads, delicious feta cheese, fresh fish, fresh this and fresh that. Incredible. Get on it.

The landscape. The island of Santorini (one of the world’s most popular honeymoon destinations) boasts the world’s most beautiful sunset. There are over 5,000 Greek islands and with that many choices, you know they have a diverse range of landscapes. The beaches are nestled in coves against clear blue waters and the sea is famously dark and seductive. Just think of how awesome it would be to say you sailed around the Greek islands for a bit, it feels cool just writing it.

The party. THE BEST PARTY IN THE WORLD, as far as I’m concerned and you won’t be disappointed if you’re looking for an all night, dance-your-ass-off marathon party session. The glamorous party is in Mykonos, but if you want to do it all on a budget and party with students and backpackers check out Ios.

Just do it.

I’m not really religious, but I would wager that God created Mykonos as a reward for humanity doing something really awesome, like inventing democracy. This island is an international icon of hedonism, beauty and the est damn time of your life.b

You will never find yourself asking “where’s the party?” because the party is all around you. And it doesn’t stop. If you’re like me and whole-heartedly believe that clubs that close their doors at 2 a.m. might as well be called retirement homes, than Mykonos is probably the place for you. Most clubs don’t close till 6 a.m., some open at midnight and keep going till 11 a.m. or whenever the last reveler dances out the door.

It makes Vegas look like a vacation with your parents and it makes Cancun look like a high school party.

The world’s most beautiful and professional partiers (yes, that is a profession in my book) descend upon Mykonos from every nook and cranny of the earth to party all-night and tan on breathtaking beaches all day. It is an exhausting cycle that few could keep going for more than a week. Mykonos is a gauntlet, thrown down by Dionysus, to challenge those who have no time for the saying carpe diem, but rather live by the opposite, carpe noctum.

So why sleep when you can live in a dream? Amen.

• You can’t flush paper down toilets on the islands
• The water on the islands isn’t recommended for drinking, so get that money ready for all those bottles
• ATVs and scooter rentals are everywhere and seem like they’re totally worth it
• The Greek and Italian languages are nothing alike
• The beaches are sometimes difficult to get to on the islands and most are clothing-optional
• There’s no avoiding cigarette smoke in Greece. It’s everywhere.
• In Greece, the party starts well after midnight and can continue into brunch time
• The water really is that blue
• They don’t have the greatest beer…and the wine is clearly superior in Italy
• Gyros are a lovely and cheap option for eating out, especially before or after a late night
• Italians LOVE Mykonos
• Going topless on a beach is quite common
• Feta in Greece is served as a thick slab of cheese, not in crumbles, and it’s delicious there

Here’s what one can expect from Santorini…

• All civilization lies at a high elevation on the island. It takes a while to get places.
• Buildings really do cling to the cliffs and present those beautiful cityscapes.
• The beaches are both calm and crazy and all are clothing optional.
• Scooter and ATV rentals abound, making it very easy to get around and love where you are

Climbing caused my head to throb – I could barely open my eyes to the gorgeous sunset falling over the rooftops. And without the ability to open my eyes, I couldn’t rent a scooter and therefore discovered no beaches. Sadly, I did not see Santorini the way it was meant to be seen.

My weary body did, however, muster up enough energy (after 18 hours of rest) to go on the optional tour with the group: to walk over the Santorini volcano, swim in hot springs and ride a donkey from the water to town. Views were blue, rocky, and gorgeous at every glance, and luckily, the heavy smell of sulfur in the hot springs had no affect on me. I could barely breathe, let alone smell! We covered our faces in hot mud from the floor of the hot springs and my struggling complexion caught a break with its healing effects.

We boarded stubborn donkeys at the base of the cliff, only to laugh and scream all the way up. They would run, stop, bite each other, squeeze our legs against walls and other donkeys and I couldn’t help but make as many “ass” puns and donkey references as humanly possible.

Santorini has the parties and the peace. I wish I could have experienced and loved both, but instead I dealt with the realities of travel: the occasional disease caused by exhaustion.

Night fell. I emptied my camera bag and refilled it with water bottles and two Red Bulls. I threw a new dress over my head, blew my hair dry, and gave my mirror image a thumbs-up. Let’s do this, grandma! Note to all: camera bags insulate nicely, so energy drinks stay nice and cool. Following some dude on stilts through downtown Mykonos Town, we eventually found our way to a big ol’, throbbing club that offered us VIP passes to avoid a hefty cover charge.

It took two hours, but the party started. Bodies filed in and ordered Red Bull and vodkas like fresh robots off the assembly line. Girls with feathers strapped to their glutes swung on poles and fanned themselves to the pulse of the techno. I couldn’t help but bring that hand up in a fist and thrust it into the open, flashing air. The music carried me across expanses of time, even though my Red Bull ran dry and sandals dug into my feet. At every climax of the beats, the bartenders stood on top of us all and threw handfuls of napkins into beams of light. They scattered on sweaty crowds and mopped up every spilled drink on the ground.

My care pack served me well and I lasted amongst the most dedicated night-dwellers until 5:30 a.m., when I walked outside to a sunrise…and very afflicted eardrums. Getting back to the hotel at 7 a.m., I passed a runner and giggled.

I wouldn’t do it again for ages, but I truly enjoyed bouncing to ridiculous beats and the repeated scream of “My-Ko-Nos” for that one night only. Grandma pulled it together. And so can you.

Paros marked the first destination on a tour of three islands in the Aegean Sea and she met almost every expectation. White buildings with strong blue accents made up the entire landscape, and windmills stood poised over the harbor. Restaurants lined the boardwalk and the wind made my hair dance into happy knots.

The tour itinerary was something along the lines of “choose one or more of the following: eat, walk, shop, rest, beach, pool, tan, read, rent scooters, drink, enjoy your beautiful surroundings.”  That sounds darn near perfect.

The next day, when it came to a full day of experiencing Paros, our tour guide had something in store if we had no inspiration on our own. I took part in the optional day tour and found myself wandering picturesque fishing towns, running across wave-breaking walls, and at a lovely beach playing newly invented ball games with new friends and a very hospitable sun.

Nightfall in Paros had me dancing on a table. How’d I get up there? Oh, I know. Two days of soul-pleasing leisure and a Red Bull. And it did not take any convincing to get the other tour participants up on the tables with me. Flashing lights pulsed and free group drinks flowed to make smiles spread across our newly tanned faces. This was only the beginning. We all had energy.

It’s easy to lump them together as Southern Europe/Mediterranean countries and call them similar cultures since they both claim responsibility for civilization as we know it. Ah, but driving into Athens, observing the surrounding barren hills, passing by the various eateries, hearing a language so dissimilar from the romances…Greece immediately broke away from Italy in my mind and thrilled me immeasurably. Things are very different here – however – there still seems to be that indescribable inspiration that pulled me to Italy years ago. I was bound for a good week in a new country.

Athens knows no boundaries. I couldn’t find the end to the buildings that crawled up the hill slopes and towards the sea. I was far too intimidated to venture anywhere in town other than my hotel’s neighborhood for fear of never finding my way back. Athens certainly wasn’t a planned city by any stretch of the imagination, so streets rarely met at 90 degree angles and are not as wide as they should have been. Instead, I took a few steps outside and found the Plaka scene a.k.a. tourist haven at the foot of the Acropolis.

Steaming and juicy gyros in minutes. Artsy fashion shops amongst souvenir displays. Trendy joints for moussaka blowing misty wind at the pampered clientele. I found everything I wanted (sandals, dresses, and gorgeous alleys) and all the prime opportunities for people watching I could ask for. Between the buildings rose the age old columns of the Parthenon; the gods are probably chuckling at all the ridiculous t-shirt designs and ruin-themed shot classes.

As much as these areas of towns piss me off, they also satisfied all desires of shopping, eating and observing things you didn’t expect to see. One of my favorite parts about Athens was the fact that so many vendors were trying to sell these squashing, gooey balls that flatten as they’re thrown on a board. Sad thing is tourists buy those. We all get sucked into the culture catered for us at some point, somewhere.

A city of vast expanses, charm and grit, and constant inspiration rising from every crowded street and pile of rubble. Athens has a history that will forever express itself. I like this city.

The beauty of my tour (and the beautiful Aussie ladies on it), is that we are not just chilling in Greek hotels. Oh no, Plato. We’re pulling out all the knots and chillin’ with Poseidon as we romp through the waves of Greece. Postcard moment: Apollo (the best boat of the available fleet – did I mention you man the boat yourself with six of your best friends?) was just headed on down to Corfu when dolphins came beside the boat. Free Willy! You can’t make this stuff up.

You may be wondering why I haven’t gotten to the real meat of this blog yet – Greek dancing! Basically, you need to understand that this Greek dancing spot is not on the mainland and it’s not a tourist attraction. This is the real deal folks. These are the Greek islanders who keep their heritage strong all night long. (Cheesy rhyme – my bad).

As you can see, this was one experience I really “sunk my teeth into”. I actually bit into a table and swung it around a bit until I lost balance. If you supported it properly, you were fine to sink your teeth into a piece of lamb, fish, or mousaka. If not, the nearest dentist was a twenty mile swim. All in all, Greek dancing is undeniable fun. Oompa!